So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
