I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
