why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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