my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
