Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
