no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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