I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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