Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
