Where is the hickey?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize