Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
