absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
