I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
