i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize