Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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