his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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