she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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