be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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