What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize