shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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