i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
