I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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