Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
