its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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