we're blogging at a bar
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
