Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
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there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
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I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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