Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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