How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
