I think my vagina is haunted
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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