we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
bring money and cleavage
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
