Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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