who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
