I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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