Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
