My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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