But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
