I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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