I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
