Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
