Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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