lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
