If that was your dad, he is hot
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
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