Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
