a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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