508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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