how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
