Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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