you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
