I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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