so that wasnt chicken after all
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
