She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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