it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
