Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
