I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
wow bdsm is so cute
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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