Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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