There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
