I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
