Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
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Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
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all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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