Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
