If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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