Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
