yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
