with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize