It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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