she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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