i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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