Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
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I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
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I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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