She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
