Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
