Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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